Little Red Jadeite Hood
by sailormoonlover01
Summary: Jadeite receives a bedtime story from Nephlite


**Little Red Jadeite Hood**

It was a night like any other. Jadeite and Nephlite were exhausted from all of their hard work at collecting energy for Queen Beryl and the Dark Kingdom.

One night, Queen Beryl was so angry with those two that she sent them to their rooms and grounded them for a week. Beryl was fed up with the lack of energy they had gathered.

Jadeite looked sad. He wanted nothing more than to please his queen. And so did Nephlite.

They did not understand it. Why rush the task? As far as they were concerned, they were gathering energy really well. But right now, they were too tired to focus.

Jadeite climbed up to the top of the bunk bed and looked up at the ceiling. Nephlite did the same. "Goodnight, Jade," said Neph.

Jade did not want to go to sleep just yet. He knew how easy Neph was to anger. So he was reluctant.

After somewhat gathering his bravery, he leaned over the edge of the top bed, and whispered something to his partner.

Nephlite was angry. "You want a bedtime story? What am I, your mother?!" He demanded.

"Please Neph?" Jade begged. "I'll never fall asleep without a bedtime story!"

Neph could not believe what he was hearing. He had never had to deal with some so childish. Except maybe Jade. Neph thought for a moment, and came to his decision. He rolled his eyes. "Okay, fine," Neph said. _I can't believe I'm doing this_. He thought.

**Bedtime Story**

"Once upon a time," Neph started. "There was little Jade with no taste in evil called, 'little red Jadeite hood'. The little red Jade was waking in the forest and carrying a basket to deliver some sandwiches to his granny."

Jade pulled several shiny-looking objects out of the basket. "Fine, _rainbow crystals_! Have it your way," Neph scolded. "Little red Jadeite hood continued walking down the path." A blonde-haired girl with a Sailor outfit jumped in front of Little Red Jadeite Hood. "An evil-looking Sailor Moon blocked his path!" Jade begun to shake in fear. "Barring her razor fangs, and her shining tiara," Neph continued. "She devoured the little Jade, and made him scream in…"

"Umm, hey," Sailor Moon abruptly interrupted Neph.

"What do you want?" Neph demanded. "I'm trying to tell a story here!"

"I know, but I don't think I'm supposed to eat him yet." said Sailor Moon.

"Huh? What do you mean?" Neph asked.

"What about the 'what really big teeth you have' part?" asked Sailor Moon.

"Huh?" Neph asked. "Oh right, okay. Well then, Sailor Moon, you hurry over to granny's house!" Sailor Moon was gone in a heartbeat.

"And Jade," Nephlite continued. "You just continue walking down the path, bla bla bla, lots of boring stuff happens. Okay, now you're finally at granny's house! Little Red Jadeite Hood walked into granny's house and into granny's bedroom. What he did not know, was that granny was actually Sailor Moon in disguise!"

Jade looked at his granny. He was happy to see her. But he took some notes. Some things were not right.

"Granny," said Jade. "What really big _eyes_ you have."

"The better to see you with, my dear," said Jade's granny.

"Granny, what really big _ears_ you have!" he exclaimed.

Sailor Moon tried to not laugh. She gently smiled. "Actually, my ears are normal size," She said. Jade was totally bewildered. "You see, I'm just a normal human girl, so for you to say that I have big ears means…."

"Just say the line!" Neph screamed.

"The better to _hear_ you with, my dear," said Sailor Moon.

"Granny, what really big _teeth_ you have," said Jade.

Sailor Moon came out of the bed. "The better to _eat_ you with my dear!" she said.

Sailor Moon devoured little red Jadeite hood. Moments later, a park ranger named Nephlite barged in.

"Fear not Jade, I'll save you!" he shouted trying to sound heroic.

"You will?" Jade asked from inside Sailor Moon's stomach.

"I _said_ I'd save you!" Neph shouted. "Why must you question me?" He looked at the Sailor girl. "Okay, Sailor Moon, taste my steel-coated axe!"

"Never!" shouted Sailor Moon. "Moon Tiara Magic!" She threw her tiara at Nephlite and destroyed him.

"Hey!" shouted Neph. "This is _my_ story!"

"Foolish Neph," said Sailor Moon. "Evil must _always_ lose to Sailor Moon! Even in_ fiction_!"

**End of bedtime story**

"Damn that Sailor Moon!" Neph screamed. "I cannot beat her even in my _imagination_!"

"You mean…" Jade begun.

"Oh that's right Jade." Neph continued. "Sailor Moon will destroy us all! She will wipe out our kingdom with her Imperium Silver Crystal. Afterward, she will destroy our queen, and make us all suffer with extreme agony!"

Jade was shaking in fear. He was hoping for a better bedtime story than that.

"The end," said Neph calmly. "Did you like your bedtime story?" He turned out the lights, not wanting to give Jade a chance to protest.

"Good night," said Neph, before he went to sleep.


End file.
